We Survived Abuse

She can be contacted at:
Email: tempelmann@aol.com

Some information about Spiritual Abuse is at this site: Hope for Europe

Sites:

All About Counseling.com
“This site is about providing helpful information on counseling and social issues, and having a place for people to express themselves in those areas.”

The National Association for Christian Recovery
“Resources for Christians recovering from addiction, abuse or trauma.” With Library, daily meditations, links and articles.

Christian Recovery International

“A coalition of
ministries dedicated to helping the Christian community become a safe and helpful place for people recovering from addiction, abuse or trauma.”

Their Links Page is choc full of useful information.

Exit & Support Network
Aiding those spiritually abused by Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and all affiliated high demand offshoots.

“The following emotional and psychological difficulties are common with survivors, especially from the Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God, Living Church of God and other authoritarian offshoot groups.”

Common Emotional Difficulties
After a High Demand Group

Common Spiritual Difficulties
After a High Demand Groups

“Not every survivor will have all of these, or may suffer from additional ones. In some cases these feelings may take years to subside, but it is important to realize that, while painful, they are normal feelings and the true God understands and will not punish you for feeling this way.

Keeping a journal and sorting one’s overwhelming feelings is most healing and helps work through feelings of betrayal and abuse. Finding a qualified person to listen non-judgmentally and empathetically to your abusive experience is also vital. Be sure and check out our booklist for more help.”

Association of Former Pentecostals
At AFP, our goal is to help you — the former Pentecostal or ex-Charismatic — find fellowship with others who’ve left this belief system, and to help you find answers through resources such as thoughtful essays, and internet resources. We also accomplish this by providing active discussion and support forums.

Often, people leaving these faiths feel alone, confused, or doubtful — feeling that perhaps they’ve made a mistake. We’re here to let you know that you are not alone! Many people have “walked away” and are living better for it! We hope this site and our resources can be of interest — and perhaps even some help — for you. Even if you’re already completely “over” this religion, we hope you’ll hang around and help us help others!

Stop Spiritual Abuse
“We focus on the issue of spiritual abuse in Bible based churches and have a secondary focus on the United Pentecostal Church….No one expects those currently associated with the United Pentecostal Church to be particularly pleased at finding a web site dealing with issues pertaining to abuses of the ministry or error in teachings……I encountered others coming from UPC churches that experienced similar circumstances….even outside the United States….It soon became evident that this abuse was not restricted to my local UPC church……I felt led to take an active role in exposing abuse in churches and to specifically help those who left a United Pentecostal Church…..I have endeavored to present issues in a reasonable and fair manner. Opportunity is given to current UPC members to share and when doctrinal matters are presented, ample access is provided to UPC writings. I know of no other web site addressing the UPC that presents the issues in this manner.”

See the book list.

Reveal
“An Organization of Former Members of the International Churches of Christ (ICC) (ICOC), Boston Church of Christ/”Boston Movement”, and Crossroads Church of Christ/”Crossroads Movement.
REVEAL is primarily an educational organization. We provide information on:

The ICC itself — history, doctrines, and practices
Thought Reform/Mind Control — what it is and how it works
Exit Counseling — what it is, how it works and who to contact
Recovery — counseling, rehabilitation, support groups, etc.”

Ex Church of Christ
A support group for ex-members of the Churches of Christ.
“Although most Churches of Christ have changed dramatically in the past 30 years, there are still 20% that are hard-line. This support group is intended for people who have left these hard-line or hardcore Churches of Christ.”
They have a list of 12 unbiblical points that are taught in a minority of Churches of Christ, see their site for the details:

1. You can never be sure you are saved.
2. Only people baptized in the Churches of Christ will be saved.
3. Every time you sin you are lost until you ask forgiveness.
4. Obedience is following the blueprint in the book of Acts.
5. Worship is following the blueprint in the book of Acts.
6. God is reluctant to forgive.
7. Nadab and Abihu (Leviticus 10) are an example of how we will be punished for wrong worship.
8. Uzzah (II Samuel 6) is an example of how we will be punished for wrong worship.
9. Instruments of music are forbidden and unacceptable to God in church worship.
10. The Lord’s Supper must be taken every Sunday.
11. I have to be worthy to take the Lord’s Supper.
12. Missing a church service is a sin.

P.O.E.M. Parents of Ephraim Monastics
“The term POEM is an acronym that stands for PARENTS OF EPHRAIM MONASTICS*. All of us have come together to form this support network as it is our common concern as to the attitudes, practices, treatment and teachings of Fr. Ephraim and the monasteries unders his direction. This concern also extends to the hierarchy of the Greek Orthodox Church. Many of our members have expressed less than serious or empathic concern shown towards them by the hierarchy.”

Calvary Chapel Abuse and Recovery
“The Calvary Chapel Abuse Discussion Group is a private and moderated forum. Victims of abuse by pastors and layleaders are invited to join in the discussion, as well as those in positions of authority in Calvary Chapel. The purpose of this forum is not to “trash” Calvary Chapel, but is rather threefold:

1. To provide a place for those who have been abused by their church leaders to openly tell their stories. To act as a forum to start those who have been abused towards the process of recovery.
2. To increase awareness of ecclesial abuse within Calvary Chapel. To deny, hush up abuses and sweep them under the carpet only exacerbates the problems of abuse that do exist.
3. To sanely and cooperatively try to discover what causes ecclesial abuse, and to seek solutions.”

Recovery from Mormonism
“A site for those who are questioning their faith in the Mormon Church and for those who need support as they transition their lives to a normal life. We are not affiliated with any religion and we do not advocate any religion….The purpose of this site is to let people who are or were in Mormonism, know they are not alone in their feelings and experiences in their quests to regain their lives after years in this religion. We have e-mail groups to join, bulletin boards, gatherings and individuals to help with a transition to a post-Mormon life. We advocate no specific religious preference or religious activities after Mormonism. Our active participants are diverse and from differing cultural backgrounds throughout the world. This site contains a significant collection of stories of those who have left the Mormon Church. The site also contains documentation and links on topics concerning this religion.”

Wittenberg Gate Article - Controlling Personalities in the Church: Manipulation Techniques and Your Defenses.
That and other related articles are very informative and well-written. The site itself is Reformed.

Author’s comments: “Probably every pastor can relate tales of folks in the congregation that display these traits and the disruptions they can cause. They may try to run the church from the pew…..Even more problematic, though, is when the controlling personality in the church is a member of the pastoral staff or the lay leadership…..I think it is important to note that a manipulative leader can create a cult-like dynamic in a church that is not cultish or heretical in its doctrine, but rather well within the range of what would be considered the historic Christian faith. There may be an unbalanced emphasis on certain doctrines, such as an attitude that emphasizes works at the expense of grace, or an emphasis on such things as submitting to authority and giving financially to the church in a sacrificial way.”

The Peregrine Foundation
“a nonprofit organization that distributes information about high-demand religious groups, totalitarian sects, intentional communities and communes.”

The Kit Information Service: “The KIT Information Service, the Peregrine Foundation’s pilot project, started in late 1989 as the KIT (”Keep In Touch” ) Newsletter to contact the approximately 1000 ex-members and ‘graduates’ of a group of religious intentional communities known variously as ‘The Society of Brothers,’ ‘La Sociedad de Hermanos,’ ‘The Hutterian Brethren East,’ ‘The Arnoldleut,’ but in general parlance as “The Bruderhof.” Link: http://www.perefound.org/knsltrs.html”

Comparing the One True Churches
About the site authors: “Will and Vivian Stoppel were members of the Church of God in Christ, Mennonite”

Article - “Leaving a “one true church” is traumatic, and the healing process is slow. No matter which “one true” church a person leaves, the expelled usually struggles with residual fear and legalism, shock, depression, and the shunning by family members. It is very helpful to learn that all “one true” churches operate virtually the same to gain and keep extreme control over the behavior, thoughts, and emotions of their members. Many of these groups listed were started by a single man who believed, often through dreams and visions, that he had been called to reform Christ’s Church.”

Another good article there, not just for survivors of “One True Churches”, but also for anyone who has been rejected, “shunned” is Breaking the Chains: http://www.theholdemans.com/breakchains.htm

Moving On
“The website created by and for young adults with parents who joined the religious organization The Family / Children of God.” That group cannot be considered a church with a few abusive leaders or traits - it is a full-blown cult.

Also see their guide Choosing a Church After a Painful Experience The article has tips on what to look for and what to avoid when looking for a new church, especially for those that have suffered elsewhere.

MeadowHaven
“exists to provide a refuge for former members of high control, destructive groups to rest, heal, and grow. By understanding their experience in an abusive environment and acquiring the skills necessary for life outside the group, MeadowHaven helps former members recover their ability to be thriving contributors to society. Healing is fostered in the context of healthy community, relationships with other former members with similar experiences, and a supportive staff who understand the processes of thought reform and mind control…”

Bill and Lorna Goldberg
“As Clinical Social Workers specializing since 1976 in working with people involved in cults and destructive groups, we recognize the harm that these groups do to the individuals involved, as well as to their families. We believe that as a result of the cult’s use of deception in the recruitment process, a former cult member usually is cautious about turning to strangers for help. We understand the natural tendency to be wary after such an experience. Therefore, we hope that this site will be useful for both those who have no intention of contacting us personally, as well as those who would like to speak to us. If you choose to contact us, we hope to give you enough information to help make you comfortable about that decision. This site is designed to provide help and information to former cult members, their families, and those who work with them.”

Battered Sheep Ministry
About Battered Sheep Ministry:”Battered Sheep Ministry is a place of encouragement for sheep who have been wounded and victimized by authoritarian and legalistic churches. This ministry was born out of personal experiences that we have been through in a couple of authoritarian/legalistic churches. As a result of our experiences, the Lord has given us a burden for people, especially those who are going through painful trials. In the last few years, the Lord has been pleased to use us in some small measure to comfort some brothers and sisters in Christ who are going through the agonies and trauma of abusive churches. This website is the result of many years of personal trials and tribulations, and we pray that this site might be a blessing and a means of healing for those who are lonely, suffering, frustrated, and desiring to fellowship with others who have endured a similar fate.”

Recovering from Spiritual Abuse
“If you have been spiritually abused just coming to this site was hard and frightening. We know; we have been there. In 1997, when we left the cultic, abusive church where we had been since 1979, we were devastated and full of despair of ever knowing what it would be like to be a “normal” Christian again. What was normal? It certainly was not us, and the future looked black and impossible. We cried a lot, felt numb a lot, I was deeply depressed for many months. All because we had come into a church that promised what we really wanted - a close and deep walk with our Savior. Instead our souls and emotions were ruined, our lives broken, almost two decades of useful life were gone,………We know your sorrow; we know your desolation and pain. We have been down to the valley of the shadow of soul and emotional death, and have come back again. We know the twists and turns, and we want to help.”

Lee Marsh Abuse Recovery Page
“You will find information about the various of types of abuse — physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, as well as information about recovery and how to find a good therapist.
Come in and browse. There’s plenty to see. If you find some of the material overwhelming, please take care of yourself and relax, write, call a friend or just allow yourself to feel. The poems, in particular, are quite graphic, and may bring back powerful memories of abuse. If you are new in your recovery process and are having difficulties with flashbacks, you might want to wait until you are feeling stronger before reading the poems.”

Fly With Grace.com
“FlyWithGrace.com is here to offer resources and hope to women trying to recover from all the devastating effects
of clergy sexual abuse and misconduct….But people who study abuse by the clergy say that Protestant churches have just as big a problem. The details may be different, but often the ways the churches handle the cases have striking parallels….There are many ways to classify abusers. Observers of clergy abuse list as many as seven profiles. Marie
Fortune has made a major distinction between predators and wanderers.”

New England Institute of Religious Research
“The New England Institute of Religious Research was founded in 1991 as a mission outreach to provide churches, secular organizations and concerned individuals with up-to-date research on cultic structures. The Institute also provides training for people who work with those caught up by such destructive groups. We personally meet with the members of various groups to discuss Behavioral/Biblical/Theological issues with them. Another important dimension of Institute ministry is to provide an emotionally and spiritually healing environment for ex-members. We offer information, resources, support groups and counseling to those who have a loved one involved in any type of spiritually abusive group.”

Eastern Regional Watch - Spiritual Abuse

Steven Allen Hassan’s Freedom of Mind Center
“Steven Alan Hassan, cult counselor and mind control expert is a Nationally Certified Counselor and licensed Mental Health Counselor and has developed a breakthrough approach to help loved ones rescue cult mind control victims. He is a former member of the Moon cult. Ex-cult members and others seek him out for specialized counseling to help them recover from symptoms other mental health professionals are not trained to address.”
His site also contains some good information about the recently popularized Kabbalah cults: Kabbalah Learning Center Cult.

The Rick A. Ross Institute
“Here you will find specific information about the process used by destructive totalists to control their followers. Excerpts from books authored by leading experts offer penetrating insights into the world of thought reform, coercive persuasion and brainwashing. You will see the criteria used to determine when a thought reform program of control is in use. Examples range from one-on-one cultic relationships to large groups.”
There is also a special section on Margaret Singer Thaler, PhD: The preeminent cult expert of the 20th Century.

reFOCUS: Recovering Former Custists’ Support Network
“reFOCUS is a network of referral and support for former embers of closed, high demand groups, relationships or cults. reFOCUS is not an organization, per se (it has no membership). It is, rather, a network, a nexus of connections between people in recovery, the lines of communication which link people up with available resources necessary to their recovery. Those resources include other former members, support groups and rehab facilities, mental health professionals, clergy, and other supportive organizations. This network also serves as a means to encourage the creation and exchange of related information which educates, encourages, or informs, such as books, articles, journals, newsletters, video and audio materials, surveys and research data, etc.”

Cultic Studies: Information about Cults and Psychological Manipulation
(Formerly AFF)
“Information on cults, cultic groups, psychological manipulation, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse, brainwashing, mind control, thought reform, abusive churches, extremism, totalistic groups, new religious movements, alternative and mainstream religions, group dynamics, exit counseling, recovery, and practical suggestions for those affected by or interested in these subjects….We at ICSA are confident that through our unique combination of periodicals, an online bookstore, an information service, workshops and conferences, and Web resources we can assist those who have been adversely affected by a cultic experience or who seek to help others or who are simply interested in the subject.

The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) is an interdisciplinary network of academicians, professionals, former group members, and families who study and educate the public about social-psychological influence and control, authoritarianism, and zealotry in cultic groups, alternative movements, and other environments. Founded in 1979 as AFF (American Family Foundation), ICSA took on its current name in late 2004 to better reflect the organization’s focus and increasingly international and scholarly dimensions. ICSA, the leading professional organization concerned about cultic groups and psychological manipulation, is known for its professionalism and capacity to respond effectively to families, former and current group members, helping professionals, and scholars.”

See their Cult Information Bookstore.

CULTWATCH
“Cultwatch is a para-church organisation made up of people from different Christian denominations. (Para-church means not founded, owned, or controlled by any one church group.) Cultwatch’s two main aims are to help the people trapped in the cults and to warn people about the cult danger before they are ensnared. Cultwatch is a Christian based organisation dedicated to helping people from all walks of life.”

Their section on Apostles is very revealing. It exposes the teaching of Apostolic/Prophetic churches and the five-fold ministry being propagated in so many churches these days.

There is a new novel by Cultwatch Director Mark Vrankovich called Kingdom Lost. “Kingdom Lost the new Christian novel by Cultwatch Director Mark Vrankovich is causing huge controversy in Super Apostle churches.
If you’re hearing phrases like “Obey, Apostolic Mandate, Five Fold Ministry, Honor the Pastor, Set Man, Theocracy, Under Authority, Covering, Robbing God, Submit” at your church, then you have to read Kingdom Lost now.”

Try their Super Apostle Detector to see if your church leader is part of this damaging trend.

Ex-Cult
This link goes direct to their resource center. They have some of the usual cults on the list, but also have information about Amway (yes, Amway), and Multi-Level Marketing.

FACTNet.org
“Since 1993, we have been to destructive cults, fundamentalism,
mind control, and mental coercion/torture what
Amnesty International has been to physical torture.”

NIMH - Depression
“A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely “pull themselves together” and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.”

All About Depression
“Clinical depression affects all aspects of a person’s life. It impairs our ability to sleep, eat, work, and get along with others. It damages our self-esteem, self-confidence, and our ability to accomplish everyday tasks. People who are depressed find daily tasks to be a significant struggle. They tire easily, yet cannot get a good night’s sleep. They have no motivation and lose interest in activities that were once enjoyable. Depression puts a dark, gloomy cloud over how we see ourselves, the world, and our future. This cloud cannot be willed away, nor can we ignore it and have it magically disappear.”

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron Ph.D.
“This trait is normal–it is inherited by 15 to 20% of the population, and indeed the same percentage seems to be present in all higher animals…..Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties…..Being an HSP also means, necessarily, that you are more easily overstimulated, stressed out, overwhelmed…..Even those who loved you probably told you, “don’t be so sensitive,” making you feel abnormal when in fact you could do nothing about it and it is not abnormal at all.”

Take their Test to see if you may be highly sensitive.

See the HSP Newsletter - Comfort Zone - with online articles.

National Center for PTSD
“The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was created within the Department of Veterans Affairs in 1989, in response to a Congressional mandate to address the needs of veterans with military-related PTSD. Its mission was, and remains: To advance the clinical care and social welfare of America’s veterans through research, education, and training in the science, diagnosis, and treatment of PTSD and stress-related disorders. This website is provided as an educational resource concerning PTSD and other enduring consequences of traumatic stress, for a variety of audiences.”

Gift From Within
“We started Gift From Within in 1993 with the intention of giving trauma survivors, their loved ones and supporters a credible online website that was friendly and supportive. PTSD is real and we wanted to explain the condition without being too technical or too superficial. Gift From Within believes that persons with PTSD and related traumatic stress syndromes deserve the same respect and support that individuals and families suffering the impact of cancer, heart disease and stroke receive. At least 10,000,000 Americans have experienced some form of PTSD. Gift From Within was founded to help provide this support.”

What is PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
“PTSD is three reactions at once, all caused by an event that terrifies, horrifies or renders one helpless. The triad of disabling responses is:
* recurring intrusive recollections;
* emotional numbing and constriction of life activity; and
* a physiological shift in the fear threshold, affecting sleep, concentration, and sense of security.”
See more at: Gift From Within - PTSD 101 for Journalists by Frank Ochberg, M.D.

Possible Abuser Personality Traits

This is not a complete list, there may be other traits, these are only some possibilities. Some of the abused may fall into these categories, too. They are called Cluster B traits typified by “dramatic, emotional behavior, including histrionic, narcissistic, antisocial (previously known as sociopathic) and borderline personality disorders.”

People with Cluster B traits can look for especially Cluster C people to dominate. Conversely, Cluster C persons may let themselves be dominated by those with Cluster B traits. This does not make the behavior of B or C persons acceptable, but can explain some cases of dominant/dependent abuse. Read about the differences in Clusters A, B, and C here: Mayo Clinic

For more information about this and other ways to measure disorders go to: ABC of mental health: Disorders of personality

Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD Central
“BPD can lead to suffering for both the BP and those whose lives they affect (non-BPs, or simply “nons.” ) BPD is linked to high conflict; divorce; suicide; substance abuse; child abuse; physical, sexual, and emotional abuse; eating disorders; estrangement from family members; and much more.”

Healthier You, The Journal: Borderline Personality Disorder: What Is It, What Causes It? How Can We Treat It? by Joel Paris, M.D.
“Interpersonal relationships in BPD are particularly unstable. Typically, borderline patients have serious problems with boundaries. They become quickly involved with people, and quickly disappointed with them. They make great demands on other people, and easily become frightened of being abandoned by them. Their emotional life is a kind of rollercoaster…..We are only beginning to understand the causes of BPD. As in most mental disorders, no single factor explains its development. Rather, multiple risk factors, which can be biological, psychological, or social, play a role in its etiology.”

Borderline Personality Disorders by Richard J. Corelli, M.D.
“A person with a borderline personality disorder often experiences a repetitive pattern of disorganization and instability in self-image, mood, behavior and close personal relationships. This can cause significant distress or impairment in friendships and work. A person with this disorder can often be bright and intelligent, and appear warm, friendly and competent. They sometimes can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense structure crumbles, usually around a stressful situation like the breakup of a romantic relationship or the death of a parent.”

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsiveness part of criminal profiling, Dr. Tom O’Connor, North Carolina Wesleyan College
“As opposed to disorders along the antisocial spectrum which can be said to represent a disease of detachment, borderlines and the obsessive-compulsives can be said to be afflicted with a disease of attachment. Such people are often pathologically attached — to persons, places, and things — so much that they sometimes block out any other person’s right to an opinion or thoughts of their own.”

BPD Links

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Dual Diagnosis and the Histrionic Personality Disorder
“Akhtar (1992, p. 259) notes that the current description of HPD corresponds to the previous idea of an infantile personality. These individuals had few sexual inhibitions, were impulsive, experienced identity diffusion and emotional lability, and demonstrated what the author referred to as moral defects. Yet, as described in the DSM-IV, individuals with HPD demonstrate what our society tends to foster and admire — to be well liked, successful, popular, extroverted, attractive, and sociable (Millon & Davis, 1996, p. 366). In fact, Widiger, et.al. (Costa & Widiger, eds., 1994, p. 47) describe HPD as an extreme variant of extroversion. Extroversion involves the tendency to be outgoing, talkative, convivial, warm and affectionate, energetic, and vigorous. In a non-pathological form, extroversion is being high-spirited, buoyant, and optimistic. These factors coalesce into a personality disorder only when the needs behind the behavior are pathologically inflexible, repetitious, and persistent (Millon & Davis, 1996, p. 366). It is then that the corruptibility, manipulativeness, and disinhibited exploitation of others become factors and the personality disordered version of extroversion becomes apparent.”

4degreez.com
“People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.”

Anti-Social Personality Disorder (Sociopath)

Profile of the Sociopath by McAfee/Johnson Professor of of Business, Economics & Management, California Institute of Technology
“This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.” It contains some interesting facts and easy-to-understand lists of character traits and a quote fromThe Psychopath Next Door.

From the Mayo Clinic
This disorder, (and most listed on this page) are usually “Cluster B” personality disorders, according to the mayo clinic, typified by:
Symptoms: “Chronic irresponsibility and unreliability, lack of regard for the law and for other’s rights, persistent lying and stealing, aggresive often violent behavior, lack of remorse for hurting others, lack of concern for the safety of self and others.”

Profile of a Sociopath from Exit and Support Network : an easy-to-understand list of sociopathic traits.
“A number of mind-controlling cult leaders may exhibit many of the behavioral characteristics of a sociopath–an outstanding ability to charm and seduce followers. Since they appear apparently normal, they are not easily recognizable as deviant or disturbed. Although only a trained professional can make a diagnosis of whether or not someone is a sociopath, it is important to be able to recognize the personality type in order to avoid further abuse. These traits also apply to a one-on-one cultic relationship.”

If such people get into leading positions as in that of a church, they can pose a danger to the congregation. Protect yourself by knowing the symptoms. Also see Exit and Support Network’s other articles about mind control and exploitive groups.

Antisocial Personality, Sociopathy and Psychopathy part of criminal profiling, Dr. Tom O’Connor, North Carolina Wesleyan College
The article offers a studious view of the disorder, stressing that most that have it are not necessarily known criminals

Narcissism

Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin

Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist, and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

Personality Disorders in the Paranoid-Narcissistic Spectrum part of criminal profiling, Dr. Tom O’Connor, North Carolina Wesleyan College
An educative view of types of Paranoia and Narcissism, contains a table comparing behavioral components of some disorders.

Bipolar Disorder (manic depression) This is a Cluster B and Cluster A disorder (more about that below).

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
“Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) is a treatable illness marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy and behavior. It is known as bipolar disorder because a person’s mood can alternate between the “poles” of mania (high, elevated mood) and depression (low, depressed mood)….Bipolar disorder affects more than two million adult Americans. Like depression and other serious illnesses, bipolar disorder can also adversely affect spouses, family members, friends, and people in the workplace.”

Also see Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder below under Possible Abused Personality Traits.

Also see Paranoid Personality Disorder below under Possible Abused Personality Traits.

The Serial Bully
“How to spot signs and symptoms of serial bullies, sociopaths and psychopaths including the sociopathic behaviour of the industrial psychopath and the corporate psychopath. Types of serial bully: The Attention-Seeker, The Wannabe, the Guru, the Sociopath.”

Has some very interesting information about bullying in the workplace that applies to church situations as well. They have information about various disorders and telling lists of symptoms and traits. I think that “The Guru” fits a pattern of some abusive church leaders, but their traits are not limited to that type.

Possible Abused Personality Traits

This is not a complete list, there may be other traits, these are only some possibilities. Some of the abusers may fall under these categories. This is by no means a suggestion that the abused have a disorder, most of them (us) do not. But there are personality traits and disorders that can predisposition someone for abuse, knowing that can help the affected toward recovery. I will use the labels of Cluster C and Cluster A seen at Mayo Clinic.com Personality Disorders.

Cluster C (anxious, fearful) pertains to: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is something different, it “is more extreme and disabling”.)

Dependent Personality Disorder

NLM, NIH
“Dependent personality disorder is a chronic condition involving over-reliance on others to meet emotional and physical needs……People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions. They may be devastated by separation and loss and may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship.”

Psychnet-UK.com
“The cause of this disorder is not known. The disorder usually appears in early adulthood. This disorder is common but not well studied; however, more women than men have been found to have dependent personality disorder…..The most effective psychotherapeutic approach is one which is focuses on solutions to specific life problems the patient is presently experiencing. Long-term therapy, while ideal for many personality disorders, is contra-indicated in this instance since it reinforces a dependent relationship upon the therapist. While some form of dependency will exist no matter the length of therapy, the shorter the better in this case.”

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Open-Mind.org
“avoidants purposefully avoid people due to fears of humiliation & rejection. It is thought to be a pathological syndromal extension of the “normal inhibited” personality, which is characterized by a watchful behavioral appearance, shy interpersonal conduct, a preoccupied cognitive style, uneasy affective expression & a lonely self-perception ( Millon & Everly ).”

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

Dual Diagnosis and the Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
“The essential feature of the obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is a preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. Individuals with OCPD are conscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about morality, ethics, or values. They may force both themselves and others to follow rigid moral principles and very high standards of performance. They are inclined to be severely self-critical. These individuals are deferential to authority and rules. They insist on literal compliance, regardless of circumstances (DSM-IV, 1994, pp. 669-670). ”

Cluster A Disorders (odd, ecentric) pertain to: Paranoid Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

Paranoid Personality Disorder

PT Types
“a pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts”
Two personality traits:
“High Openness-
Preoccupation with fantasy and daydreaming; lack of practicality; eccentric thinking (e.g., belief in ghosts, reincarnation, UFOs); diffuse identity and changing goals: for example, joining religious cult; susceptibility to nightmares and states of altered consciousness; social rebelliousness and nonconformity that can interfere with social or vocational advancement.

High Agreeableness
Gullibility: indiscriminate trust of others; excessive candor and generosity, to detriment of self-interest; inability to stand up to others and fight back; easily taken advantage of.”

Schizoid Personality Disorder

Dual Diagnosis and the Schizoid Personality Disorder
“According to the DSM-IV (1994, p. 638), the essential feature of the schizoid personality disorder “e;is a pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings.”e; These individuals appear to lack a desire for intimacy. They spend time alone and select activities that do not include interaction with others……Individuals with SPD may have particular difficulty expressing anger, even when directly provoked. They often react passively to adverse circumstances and may not respond appropriately to important life events. These individuals may experience brief (minutes to hours) psychotic episodes in response to stress. SPD can be, but is not necessarily, an antecedent disorder to schizophrenia, major depression, or a delusional disorder. The most frequent co-occurring personality disorders with STP are schizotypal, paranoid, and avoidant personality disorders. SPD is diagnosed more frequently in males who seem to be more impaired than females with SPD (DSM-IV, 1994, p. 639).”

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

National Mental Health Association
“A pattern of peculiarities best describes those with schizotypal personality disorder. People may have odd or eccentric manners of speaking or dressing. Strange, outlandish or paranoid beliefs and thoughts are common. People with schizotypal personality disorder have difficulties forming relationships and experience extreme anxiety in social situations. They may react inappropriately or not react at all during a conversation or they may talk to themselves. They also display signs of “magical thinking” by saying they can see into the future or read other people’s minds.”

PT Types, Schizotypal…
I suspect that this disorder may affect some cult leaders, that then gather followers with the same disorder around them. Another area that may draw such persons may be the Christian Apostolic/Prophetic Movement and Charismatic and Pentecostal Movements which adherents often claim to have visions, prophecies, and various spiritual experiences. Most there are more social and will not have this disorder, but the nature of these movements could predispose them to draw adherents with this disorder, thus possibly even initiating and more likely propagating false doctrine within these movements no matter their origin.

Two traits are:
“High Openness-
Preoccupation with fantasy and daydreaming; lack of practicality; eccentric thinking (e.g., belief in ghosts, reincarnation, UFOs); diffuse identity and changing goals: for example, joining religious cult; susceptibility to nightmares and states of altered consciousness; social rebelliousness and nonconformity that can interfere with social or vocational advancement.
Low Agreeableness-
Cynicism and paranoid thinking; inability to trust even friends or family; quarrelsomeness; too ready to pick fights; exploitive and manipulative; lying; rude and inconsiderate manner alienates friends, limits social support; lack of respect for social conventions can lead to troubles with the law; inflated and grandiose sense of self; arrogance.”

Other subject matter that might be useful:

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Stephen R. Covey

Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (June 18, 2002)
ISBN: 0071401946

Anonymous recommendation: “This book was extremely helpful in recognizing conversation patterns and identifying my own patterns vs. others. Once I started recognizing things like fear, control, and bullying in other’s conversations…my conversation pattern changed dramatically. It was extremely helpful towards the end of my church situation…I only regret I didn’t read it before it all happened. It helps me to this day in talking about my situation w/ those who call me.

It was truly amazing in using the skills this book presents when talking to others about what we went through…especially in helping me identify when someone else in the conversation goes into (what the book identified as) “silence” or “violence”.

The biggest thing it did for me is help me NOT to defend myself in [the] situation, keep the focus on the facts of what went on and NOT allow myself to get drawn into defending how I’m responsible for …. “outcast behavior”.

I seriously, seriously recommend anyone and everyone to read this book! I won’t be surprised when you do you’ll think of past church s/a conversations and identify a new pattern in the speech that was used. You’ll look at people in a different way and see yourself as not being the victim like you used to be…b/c it provides you tools, insights, and a foundation to call the behavior for what it is and not what the person is attempting to distract you with.”

Order at Amazon

God, Language and Scripture, Moises Silva

Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company (February 11, 1991)
ISBN: 0310409519

From the back cover:
“The primary aim of God, Language and Scripture is to provide guidance in the use of biblical languages. Secondarily this volume initiates the reader to the wonders and workings of language and points out how language is often misused, especially in regard to the Bible. This volume, however, in no way anticipates all the ways of mishandling language. Silva’s emphasis is on “global” rather than detailed concerns (though selected specific examples are used) of how language is misused. The book includes an account of the birth and growth of modern linguistics, an appreciation of its interdisciplinary character, particularly its ties with literary criticism, sociology, anthropology, psychology, and science. It surveys all levels of language description, but emphasizes the semantic and stylistic aspects of grammar and syntax, vocabulary, and discourse. In addition, it considers the transmission of the Bible (textual criticism and translation) as a mode of linguistic communication and interpretive process.”

Order at Amazon.com

Has the Church Misread the Bible? The History of Interpretation in the Light of Current Issues, Moises Silva

Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company (October 18, 1987)
ISBN: 0310409217

From the back cover:
“In this, the first volume of Foundations of Contemporary Interpretation, Moises Silva presents a unique and practical perspective on the history of interpretation. “I do not intend to provide in this volume a full-blown history of biblical hermeneutics . . . (Rather,) my thesis is that this history is characterized by the church’s appreciation, sometimes implicit rather than consciously formulated, that we face a series of difficult ‘tensions’ in our reading of Scripture . . . . The attempt to hold these seeming polarities in tension is the principle that brings unity to the great diversity of problems surrounding the history of biblical interpretation.” Some examples of these areas of tension are, “To what extent should we understand the biblical language as being literal and to what extent as figurative?” “The Bible is God’s Word, yet what it has come to is through human beings and in human form.” “The commands of God are absolute, yet the historical context of the writings appear to relativize certain elements.” “God’s message should be clear, yet many passages seem to be ambiguous.” By showing how the church in the past has dealt with these same issues, Silva provide the reader with a clearer insight into the contemporary problems of interpretation.”

Order at Amazon.com

Spiritual Counterfeits Project
“Since 1973, the SCP has been a frontline ministry confronting the occult, the cults, and the New Age movement and explaining why they are making an impact on our society. In the name of truth, sophisticated lies are fed to unwary people who live in and shape our world. SCP’s mandate is to communicate with our generation by creating crossover material that alerts and informs about the very real dangers of the latest deceptions. It is a critical mission at a critical time.”

Christian Research Institute
“Our Mission: To provide Christians worldwide with carefully researched information and well-reasoned answers that encourage them in their faith and equip them to intelligently represent it to people influenced by ideas and teachings that assault or undermine orthodox, biblical Christianity.”

A Few Things You May Want to Avoid

Cult Awareness Network operated by the Foundation for Religious Freedom is not what it seems to be. They were taken over by Scientology after a law suit. Much information about that can be found at Rick Ross’ site: The New Cult Awareness Network.

This list consists of some books that were recommended to me. I will not have read them unless stated, but through research of the subjects the books treat of or experience with them, I can at least advise a higher level of caution than with material previously listed.

The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning

See a Review entitled What is Contemplative Spirituality and Why is It Dangerous?by John Caddock of the Journal of the Grace Evangelical Society, Autumn 1997 Volume 10:19

An excerpt of the review:
“There is a seductive quality to his writings. He reports grappling with and overcoming fear, guilt, and psychological hang-ups and difficulties, including alcoholism. He gives the impression that he has a very intimate relationship with God and that he has insight to a superspirituality. He regularly meditates and reports having many visions and encounters with God. He is an extremely gifted writer who is able to tug at the emotions of the reader while at the same time introducing ideas that the reader would immediately reject if they were not cloaked under this emotional blanket.

He promises readers that if they apply his teaching they too will gain this same intimacy with God as well as freedom from fear, guilt, and psychological hang-ups and difficulties. This is very attractive. Manning’s prescription to achieve this is not by traditional prayer and by the reading and application of the Bible. Rather, the means to this end is a mixture of Eastern mysticism, psychology, the New Age Movement, liberation theology, Catholicism, and Protestantism.3 This mixture will not deliver intimacy with God. It no doubt will lead to special feelings and experiences. Those practicing Manning’s methods will likely feel closer to God. However, in the process they will actually move away from Him as a result of a counterfeit spirituality.”

Other works by Manning: The Ragamuffin Gospel

What Is So Amazing About Grace? by Phil Yancey

Publisher: Zondervan (October 10, 1997)

Some critique about Yancey’s held doctrines and activities has been published at Biblical Discernment Ministries. If the report is true, then I could not agree with the author on neo-evangelical issues. His doctrines, possibly contained in the book, would be part of the deception that I have left and am trying to avoid. A quote from BDM: “In an attempt to shelter God and His reputation from any responsibility, directly or indirectly, for suffering or pain, Yancey has made Him into something less than God.”

An excerpt of the book follows from bookschristian.com The book encourages those that have not been the recipients of grace or mercy in their churches and shows how it should be present in Christian life. Those that do not show God’s grace to others have gravely misunderstood the message of Jesus Christ.

“Grace does not excuse sin, says Yancey, but it treasures the sinner. True grace is shocking, scandalous. It shakes our conventions with its insistence on getting close to sinners and touching them with mercy and hope. It forgives the unfaithful spouse, the racist, the child abuser. It loves today’s AIDS-ridden addict as much as the tax collector of Jesus’ day.In his most personal and provocative book ever, Yancey offers compelling, true portraits of grace’s life-changing power.”

Some have been helped by the book that recommended it to me, despite what false doctrine it may contain, if you still want this book it is available at Amazon.com

References when not already listed above:

1. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen. p. 20, 21.